Skimming a stone across the wavy sea of singles, and then counting the ripples.
KANYE WEST ft. PUSHA T - 'RUNAWAY'
You've got to love a song which takes the time to edit out the S-word and the MF-word, but happily dumps a big douchebag in the middle of the chorus, as startling and grisly as a dead duck on a Monopoly board. Whether you choose to love an apologetic Kanye with more than a little bit of Massive Attack in his sonic arsenal is entirely your own affair. We've only just met, I don't want to appear bossy.
FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE - 'HEAVY IN YOUR ARMS'
Ironically, given the name, this is the first Florence song that sounds like there has been any actual machinery involved in the manufacturing process. It'll have been a very organic contraption, mind - some kind of ghost robot whale, built out of ivory and catgut and borne aloft across Flo's own Middle Earth by a rogue batallion of warlike violinists - an orc-estra, if you will. Run, little hobbits! Run for your LIVES!
COWBELL - 'NEVER SATISFIED'
A more cynical man than I would just write "THE LITE STRIPES!" over and over again in place of any reasonable comment about this band. He would also go on to sneer that boy/girl garage-rock duos are, like, SO 2002, dude, before setting his hat at a jaunty angle and sauntering off. I, meanwhile, am finding it hard to stop playing the thing, despite the whiff of dadrock gravy in the verses, because the chorus is pure Angel Delight.
HURTS - 'STAY'
Poise and mystique are wonderful: more useful to a pop star's life than towels and hot honey drinks. Hurts appear to have struck a deal in which they exchange everything other acts rely on - colour photography, songs about clubs, amazing choruses - for extra helpings of statuesque and aloof. It's not a bad deal, but it does set a high bar for their music to leap over. Unfortunately, this song is struggling to do more than knock the thing onto the crashmat with its face, and then, before anyone can giggle, blusteringly pretend that this is what was supposed to happen all along.
MELISSA AUF DER MAUR - 'MEET ME ON THE DARK SIDE'
Imagine going through life having a surname which means "on the wall". That's gonna leave a mark. Luckily Melissa seems to have poured any residual childhood trauma into her music, and as you might expect, it's bruised and whispery and sleek: a Morticia Addams elder sister to the Arctic Monkeys' Crying Lightning. I guess having initials that spell 'MADM' must be some consolation too.
ALLO DARLIN' - 'MY HEART IS A DRUMMER'
Elizabeth Morris might want to go to a beautiful place where her heart is a drummer, but has she considered the health implications? Would you be able to choose which drummer you get, for example? Having a Keith Moon heart seems like a bad idea, unless you'd enjoy a pulse that clatters like a jar full of marbles: same goes for the impossible aortic paradiddling of Dave Grohl. But maybe someone steady and reliable - Stephen Morris, perhaps - would be alright. It would certainly be less messy than going to the place where your drummer is a heart.
The Fratellis had a drummer called Mince. Just sayin'.
OTHER SONGS YOU CAN BUY
Laura Marling - 'Blues Run The Game' / 'The Needle & The Damage Done' (ltd 7")
Mirrors - 'Hide and Seek'
These New Puritans - 'Hidden Remixes EP'
Young Rebel Set - 'Measure Of A Man'
T. Williams - 'Getting Mine'
Frank Sidebottom - 'Oh Blimey It's Christmas'
The Hundred In the Hands - 'Commotion'
Spark - 'Revolving'
Aberfeldy - 'Somewhere To Jump From'
Joe Worricker - 'Finger Waggers'
Florrie - 'Introduction EP'